Recently, I went back to West Point—a place I called home for many years—to celebrate the life’s work of one of the most joyous, selfless and genuine leaders I have ever encountered: Brig. Gen. Rich Morales.

They say a failure is only a lesson on the journey to success. When you’re part of our military tribe, there are folks you remember who were there, especially in the dark moments. Morales was always there for me when I failed, and he treated me the same whether I was a hotshot captain, a congressman or an acting secretary of the Army. I’m not sure if he even knows the positive impact he’s had on me, especially during those low moments in my life, because, let’s face it, tough Army soldiers don’t like to share or dwell on our failures.

When I was a skinny 19-year-old college hockey player, I had just joined Army ROTC as a cadet competing for a scholarship. I read retired Gen. Colin Powell’s book, My American Journey, and learned that Maj. Powell served as a White House Fellow, and I was determined to someday do the same.

Chance Encounter

Eight years later, I joined the faculty at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, New York, and befriended an officer in another academic department, then-Maj. Morales, over lunch one day at Grant Hall. He was in line behind me and I exclaimed, “Hey, are you the guy that writes that ‘Murphy’s Law’ column for The Pointer View newspaper? I love that column!”

We dined together that day and became instant friends (I always called him “Sir,” though, as I was only a captain, and he was a major).

What he didn’t know, or maybe he sensed, was I had a bit of impostor syndrome. I did not feel worthy of teaching constitutional law at such an incredible institution as West Point. I was always trying to prove myself by working harder than everyone else. It wasn’t until later I learned that like Powell, Morales also had served as a White House Fellow (and later served with distinction in combat deployments). Morales always encouraged me and gave me great advice about applying to be a White House Fellow.

After 9/11 happened, and I returned after my second combat deployment, that was my moment. Three days after returning from Iraq as a senior Army captain, I applied with my recommendations, transcripts, essays done after multiple all-nighters—literally a decade after first learning about the White House Fellow program and setting it as a goal. I was so hopeful that I’d join the ranks of other White House Fellows like Morales, Powell, now-Maryland Gov. Wes Moore and so many other great Americans.

Feedback Appreciated

This was my chance, and Morales took the time to give me feedback on my application and essays while I was stationed post-deployment at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, becoming Fort Liberty. He believed in me, and that gave me so much confidence.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t selected. I didn’t even get an interview. He counseled me afterward and encouraged me to apply again. It bothered me then, and to this day I use that failure for motivation. But it remains a chip on my shoulder; at times, I still compare my career to the folks who were selected that year over me.

However, I focus more on the positive aspects of that process, even though it didn’t work out as planned. I try to remember the lessons learned from someone like Morales—who couldn’t have been more gracious to me that day over lunch at Grant Hall, who struck up a friendship with a captain who was his junior and who effortlessly shows grace with every interaction I’ve had with him throughout these past decades.

Whether it was hosting me at his home at West Point with other faculty and cadets; visiting him when he was stationed at the White House helping lead the Joining Forces military, veterans and their families support program with then-first lady Michelle Obama and future first lady Jill Biden; or him, his wife, Christy, and their son, Matthew, being so kind to my kids, Maggie and Jack, every time we were back at West Point. We even tailgated in their backyard before home Army football games. Morales was always so encouraging, honest and supportive in helping me believe in myself and everyone with whom he comes into contact.

I am happy I can celebrate my friend Morales and his family for their incredible service and sacrifice to our nation these past 34 years. They answered our nation’s call to serve during a defining moment in our country’s history, and no doubt they’ll continue their inspirational journey of service at the Coast Guard Academy, the next stop in their journey, where Morales will serve as leader in residence.

They are an incredible family that has touched so many lives—including ours. We are so grateful to have known them, proud to celebrate them and hope we continue to make them proud of our efforts—even when the members of our tribe come up short.

* * *

Patrick Murphy was the 32nd undersecretary of the Army and is a former member of Congress from Bucks County, Pennsylvania. He is a senior fellow of the Association of the U.S. Army.